


Lilo and Stitch; Hazbin Hotel Edition

by FurbyDisaster53



Series: Hazbin Hotel Movie Parodies [13]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Lilo & Stitch Fusion, Gen, Human Charlie Magne, Human Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Inspired by Lilo & Stitch, Parody, this was weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28907097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FurbyDisaster53/pseuds/FurbyDisaster53
Summary: A lonely girl living in Hawaii named Charlie wound up befriending a little girl named Nifty.What Charlie didn’t know was that Nifty was a demonic experiment from hell, and her creator, the infamous Radio Demon, was hot on her trail.However, after spending time with Charlie, Nifty realizes there may be more to her life than chaos and destruction.
Relationships: Alastor & Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne & Niffty, Charlie Magne/Vaggie
Series: Hazbin Hotel Movie Parodies [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974124
Comments: 27
Kudos: 21





	1. Experiment 929

Hell was inhabited by all kinds of demons; both Hellborns and people who sinned as mortals. But someone created a demon, as a sort of genetic experiment. However, this was seen as a crime against nature, so Alastor had to go on trial for what he created. 

The red deer stood before his fellow overlords, as well as Lucifer himself. “State the charges,” said Lucifer. 

“Alastor, the Radio Demon, you stand before this council accused of illegal genetic voodoo shit,” Vox stated. 

“How do you plead?” Lucifer asked. 

“Not guilty! Sir, it was only talk. Just something I considered,” replied Alastor.

“We got word you actually created something,” Lucifer continued. 

“Created something?! Oh goodness no! Why that would be completely irresponsible! I would never, ever—,” Alastor started, as a small, one eyed girl in a glass cage was brought out. “Make more than one!” he finished. 

The crowd gasped at the sight of her. “What the fuck is that?” Vox asked. 

“My friends, I’d like to present my brilliant creation! I created her myself. The first of her kind! I call her Experiment 929. She is bulletproof, fireproof and can think faster than one of your pathetic hellphones. She can see in the dark and move objects three thousand times her size! Her only instinct is to destroy everything she touches!” Alastor exclaimed, before laughing. 

“So it’s a little shit?” Lucifer asked. 

“Only a little one!” replied Alastor.

“It’s just another way for Alastor to fuck us over. She has to be destroyed!” Vox shouted. 

“Well….maybe she can be useful. Experiment 929, show us there is something inside you that we can use,” Lucifer said, looking at the little cyclops. 

“Answer, you piece of shit!” Vox yelled. 

She stood up and cleared her throat. “Min'na fakku!” she yelled, before laughing. 

“Well I certainly didn’t teach her that,” Alastor stated. 

“Someone restrain that asshole until we can execute him!” Vox shouted, as a few guards sprayed Alastor with holy water. 

“CURSE ALL OF YOU!” Alastor screamed, as he was being dragged away. 

“As for that….girl. She’s of no use to us. We’ll have to execute her as well. Vox? Would you mind?” Lucifer asked. 

“Gladly,” Vox smiled. He led the girl to a room, so that she could wait for her inevitable death. “Uncomfortable aren’t you? Good. Your existence is a waste of space. But that shall be rectified soon,” he said, before walking out and leaving her there. 

The cyclops started to run wildly, trying to find an escape. She had nearly given up when a hole opened in the floor, with three imps crawling out. “Well, that was a job well done,” Blitzo said. 

“Sir, this isn’t headquarters,” Moxxie said. 

“Aw fuck I sent us to the wrong place,” Blitzo sighed, before he looked and spotted the girl. “Hey,” he waved. 

The girl wasted no time and just jumped through the portal, with it closing behind her. 

“Well that can't be good,” Millie said. 

“Nope, hang on,” Blitzo opened the door. “HEY GUYS, your cyclops escaped,” he said. 

“WHAT?” Lucifer shouted. 

“Oh yeah, she went through a portal to earth,” the imp continued. Lucifer sighed and went back to the main room.

“Alright, our only option is to set the world on fire,” Lucifer stated, as a white spider ran in. 

“Hold it! Hold everything! We can’t do that. Humans are important and all that shit. I mean how else are we supposed to get people down here? No offense, mister, but I thought ya woulda considered that,” he explained. 

“...you raise a good point. What’s your name?” Lucifer asked. 

“Angel Dust. A hellborn, but I’m pretty into earth shit. The kinda drugs they have, booze, clubs, I’ve been studying humans for ages,” he answered. 

“I’ve been out of touch lately with what goes on on earth. Are they intelligent? Or at least any smarter?” Lucifer asked. 

“Nah, just fucking delicate. Bunch of babies,” replied Angel. 

“What if some of us just went up to get her?” Lucifer asked.

“Are ya fucking nuts? Showing up there would create mass chaos!” Angel answered. 

“A quiet capture would require an understanding of 929 that we don’t have! Who, then, Mr. Dust, would you send for her extraction?” asked Lucifer, as Angel paused. 

“She got a brother? Close grandma, maybe?” he asked. Lucifer suddenly got an idea though, and led Angel through to the execution room. 

Alastor was preparing to be killed, but he was unusually calm. He looked over at Lucifer and Angel, grinning broadly. “So, she escaped?” he asked. 

“Yes and I’m sure you’re enjoying the fucking show,” Lucifer groaned. 

“Oh indeed, sir! It’s awfully entertaining. After all, I made her unstoppable,” Alastor smiled. 

“Which is why you’re the one who has to bring her back,” returned Lucifer. 

“I beg your pardon?” Alastor asked. 

“And to reward you, we are willing to trade your freedom for her life,” continued Lucifer. 

“929 wouldn’t come easily, she’s invincible to all the magic I currently know. Now, if I knew more I would certainly be able to-,” Alastor started. 

“Fine, I’ll give you access to all of my magical resources. Do we have a deal, Radio Demon?” Lucifer asked. 

“Wait a sec! Earth’s delicate, remember? Who’s gonna control this freaky bastard?” Angel whispered. 

“You of course,” Lucifer returned, as Angel’s eyes widened. 

“Mister, ya gotta be kidding me,” he said. 

“Afraid not. I’ll open a portal for you gentlemen,” smiled Lucifer, as he walked off to get everything in order. 

Alastor smiled and turned to Angel. “So, tell me, my effeminate fellow, my little darling has made it to Earth you say?” he grinned.


	2. Sandwich Day

On earth, a blonde girl, about eighteen, was in the ocean, giving a fish a sandwich. As soon as she was done, she started running to a small building, hurrying to put on a grass skirt. She ran inside, and there were four girls about her age, instructing a group of children how to hula. The girl ran over to the group, with water dripping off of her. Soon everyone slipped on the puddles she left and everyone fell to the ground. The shortest of the girls got up, straightening out her skirt. 

“Charlie….why are you all wet?” she asked, as the children left. 

“Mimzy, It’s sandwich day,” Charlie shrugged. 

“...what?” Mimzy asked. 

“You know, sandwich day! On the second Saturday of every month, I take Pudge the fish, a peanut butter sandwich,” Charlie continued. 

“Pudge is a fish?” Mimzy asked, but Charlie kept talking.

“And today we were out of peanut butter! So I asked Vaggie what to give him, and she said a tuna sandwich! I can't give Pudge tuna! You know why, right?” she asked.

“Cause….it’s fish?” Mimzy asked. 

“Yes! It’s fish! If I gave pudge tuna, I'd be an abomination! I’m really sorry, ok? But I'm late because I had to go to the store, and get peanut butter, since all we have is tuna!” Charlie explained. 

“Charlie, calm down. Why is this so serious?” Mimzy asked. 

“Oh, Pudge controls the weather,” Charlie answered. 

The other girls stood there staring at her, when one of them, Helsa, walked over to Charlie. “You are fucking insane,” she sneered. 

“Shut up,” Charlie muttered. 

“Go on and cry, you bitch. Go home and cry to your little girlfriend,” Helsa laughed. 

“I said stop,” the blonde said. 

“That little goth slut is the only person who’ll ever like you anyway. She can go eat shit too,” Helsa smirked. 

“SHUT UP!” Charlie yelled, before attacking her. 

The two fought, punching and pulling at one another’s hair. “Stop it right now!” Mimzy shouted, breaking it up.

“She started it!” Charlie said, before sighing. “I won’t do it again, I swear!” she exclaimed. 

“Charlie….I think I might have to let you go,” Mimzy said. 

“I swear! I won’t do it again! I want to teach hula! I do! I just….well she was talking about Vaggie and….” Charlie started, trailing off. 

“I know, I know. And Helsa, you're not off the hook either!” Mimzy yelled. 

“Fuck,” Helsa muttered. 

“Look, Charlie...I won’t let you go. But you can’t do shit like this. I won’t be making you or Helsa come in to give lessons this week. Then we’ll see where we go from there,” Mimzy sighed. Charlie and Helsa nodded, then all the girls went off to change.

Charlie was outside, debating on calling Vaggie to tell her what happened. She was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard talking nearby. Helsa and two of the other girls, Velvet and Octavia, were standing together. 

“I still can’t believe what that bitch did to me,” Helsa muttered. 

“Well you were being a bit of an ass,” Octavia said. 

“Yeah but she didn’t have to try scratching my eyes out,” Helsa returned. 

Charlie walked over. “Um...Helsa? I...I’m sorry. I was mad, and I couldn’t control myself. I’m sorry. Really,” she said. 

Helsa rolled her eyes. “Shut up. I don’t want to hear it,” Helsa said, before she and the others walked past her. 

Charlie sighed, ended up not calling Vaggie, and went straight home.

Vaggie made it home late, and once she made it, she started pounding on the door. “Charlie!? Hello! I forgot my keys. Let me in!” Vaggie yelled, her dark hair falling in her face. 

Charlie was on the other side of the door, lying on the ground. “Leave me alone to die,” she muttered. 

“Charlie, come on,” Vaggie said. 

She heard Charlie get up and watched as she opened the door. “Hi,” Charlie sighed. 

“What happened today?” Vaggie asked. 

“I...I did something bad,” muttered Charlie. 

“What is it, hon?” Vaggie asked. 

“It’s….really bad,” Charlie replied. 

“Come on, I’m sure it couldn’t be that bad,” said Vaggie.

Charlie sighed and looked down. “I hit Helsa Von Eldritch today,” she admitted. 

“You hit her?” asked Vaggie. 

“Before I bit her,” Charlie added. 

“You bit her?! Oh Charlie, why?” Vaggie asked. 

“Well...she said bitchy stuff about you. I got upset,” Charlie answered. 

“Yeah but Charlie, you still can’t do that,” Vaggie said. 

“People treat us differently,” Charlie sighed. 

“Well, they just don’t know what to say. But it’s not your fault, and it’s not my fault. People are just dicks. I know you like to think people are good, but a lot of them are dicks,” Vaggie said. 

“I know,” Charlie said, before Vaggie hugged her. 

Later that day, the two of them were sitting together and watching a movie. “Hey Vaggie?” Charlie asked. 

“What?” asked Vaggie. 

“Can….can we adopt a kid?” Charlie asked. 

“Charlie! We’re barely out of high school! We can’t raise a kid!” Vaggie exclaimed. 

“I know but….well, ever since my parents died, I’ve only made a mess of things, But I want to turn it all around! I wanna help someone,” she explained. 

“Charlie, hon, it’s a sweet thought, but do you really think we’re ready?” Vaggie asked. 

“Well I mean, I’d like to think so. I just want to give someone a family,” Charlie smiled, before she saw something green fly past the window. “A falling star!” she exclaimed, running over to the window. 

“What’d you wish for?” Vaggie asked. 

“I can’t say; it’s a secret. Also, I think I’ll head to bed. I’m exhausted,” Charlie said.

“Ok, I’ll meet you there,” replied Vaggie. Later, Vaggie opened the door to their bedroom, and saw Charlie kneeling by the bed. 

“It's me again. I want someone to take care of... someone who won't end up like me. I wanna change a kid’s life. Maybe even be their friend. Maybe send me an angel... the sweetest angel you have,” she prayed.

Meanwhile, the cyclops crawled up through the portal to earth. She looked around and started laughing, then she started to make her way down the road. However, she immediately got hit by a truck.


	3. Her Name is Nifty

The next day, Vaggie and Charlie went to adopt a kid. “We’re looking for one that’s well behaved, y’know?” she asked, as the man behind the desk, Baxter, nodded. 

Meanwhile, the cyclops woke up in the shelter. Incredibly confused, she left it and made her way outside. As soon as she was out, inky tentacles reached for her. 

“So nice to see your pretty face again!” a staticky voice called. 

“Alastor?” the girl gasped. She quickly ran back inside of the building before he could get her. 

“Alright, I’ll need one of you to stay up here and fill out forms, the other can go scope out some of the kids,” Baxter said. 

“I’ll be here. Charlie, you go. Pick someone out,” smiled Vaggie. 

Charlie kissed her on the cheek and went off to look. She walked down the hallway lined with doors, looking around. “Hello? Are there any kids in here? Hello?” Charlie asked. The cyclops heard the voice, and figured this was her best chance at escape. She ran over to Charlie and smiled brightly. “Hi,” Charlie said. 

“Hi!” the cyclops replied, before immediately hugging her. 

“Wow!” Charlie explained.

Back in the lobby, Baxter and Vaggie were still talking. “Oh yeah, all the kids here are adoptable,” he said, just as Charlie and the girl walked in. “Except that one!!” he shouted, rushing over. 

“What happened to her eye?!” Vaggie asked. 

“I don’t know, she was dead this morning!” replied Baxter. 

“She was DEAD this morning?” asked Vaggie. 

“We thought she was dead! She got hit by a truck!” Baxter answered. 

“I like her!” Charlie smiled. 

“Okay, okay, not to be rude, but wouldn’t you like a different kid?” Vaggie asked. 

“We have better kids!” Baxter nodded. 

“Well….I can tell she has a lot of personality!” Charlie replied. 

“Charlie, listen, are you positive you want her?” asked Vaggie. 

Charlie looked back at the cyclops, then smiled at Vaggie. “Yes, she’s good. I can tell,” she said. 

“You’re going to have to think of a name for her,” Baxter said, as he got paperwork in order. 

“Hmmm….I have no ideas,” Vaggie sighed. 

“Nifty? Yes! Her name is Nifty,” Charlie said. 

“What the fuck kinda na-?” Baxter started, but saw Vaggie giving him the death glare. “I mean, that’s a good name!” he continued. After more paperwork, he smiled at the couple. “Congratulations. She’s all yours,” he said.

“You’re all mine,” Alastor grinned, as he watched them from the window. 

“So? What the hell is she doing?” Angel asked. 

“Stop talking! She’s listening for us,” replied Alastor. 

“How good is her hearing?” Angel whispered. 

As he said that, Nifty whipped her head around to look at them, then she walked outside. Alastor simply smiled, ready to kill. “Why won’t you run?” he muttered. 

Just then, Charlie walked out to meet her. “Hi! I’m here!” she said, before hugging Nifty. Alastor was still ready, but Angel grabbed his arms. “Stop! Ya can’t do it! It’s too dangerous!” he exclaimed. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t hit her!” Alastor insisted. 

“No! That girl is a part of earth’s ecosystem! Educate ya self, ya stupid fuck!” Angel retorted. 

“She’s using that girl for a shield. This is low, even for you!” Alastor shouted, as Nifty flipped him off. 

“Okay, maybe….maybe don’t do that,” Charlie said. 

“I’ll tear her apart!” Alastor shouted. 

“Have you lost ya damn mind?! Look, ya can’t use magic like crazy, and ya can’t be seen! Look at ya self! Ya look like a fuckin deer monster! We have to blend in!” Angel explained. 

The two of them watched Charlie, Vaggie, and Nifty walked away. Alastor was determined to catch 929, but he was beginning to think that would be more challenging than it seemed.


	4. Stuck on You

Vaggie, Charlie, and Nifty were walking through town, and Vaggie sighed. “Damn it, I gotta head to work. I’ll meet you at one?” she asked.

“Yep! Love you,” Charlie smiled. 

As the two of them talked, Nifty got transfixed by a monster movie playing on a display television. She laughed at the destruction in the film and started to copy the monster’s growls. 

“I love you too,” Vaggie replied, as she gave Charlie a kiss on the cheek. She looked down at Nifty and awkwardly waved. “Uh...love you too,” she said.

Nifty growled in response, and Vaggie headed to work. Just then, Helsa, Velvet, and Octavia passed on their bikes. “My friends!” Charlie exclaimed.

“Oh shit, it’s her!” Velvet shouted, as Charlie ran over to the group.

“What do you want?” Helsa asked.

“I wanted to apologize again. I’m sorry I bit you. And punched you in the face. And called you a fat ass, judgemental hoebag,” Charlie said.

“Apology not accepted. Now fuck off or I’ll hit you with my bike,” Helsa stated. 

Nifty walked over, and Charlie smiled. “Oh! Vaggie and I adopted a kid! Her name is Nifty,” she explained.

“That is the weirdest kid I’ve seen in my life,” Helsa said. Nifty walked over to her bike, and Helsa groaned. “Fuck off, kid!” she shouted. 

Meanwhile, Alastor and Angel watched from a distance, while wearing disguises. Alastor’s disguise was a simple hat and some sunglasses, while Angel was in a red wig, purple dress, and a ton of makeup.

Nifty pushed Helsa off the bike, then she grabbed Charlie, and the two of them rode off on it. “Go to hell, Charlie! I’m calling my dad!” Helsa shouted.

“Oh shit, she’s lose!” Angel exclaimed.

“It seems like her destructive mindset is taking root. She will be irresistibly drawn to large cities, where she will back up sewers, reverse street signs, and steal everyone’s left shoe,” Alastor explained.

Charlie and Nifty were riding around, stopping at every shoreline. Charlie smiled to herself while they were stopped. “It’s nice to live on an island with no large cities,” she said.

“FUCKING DAMNIT!” Nifty shouted.

“Hey, watch your language! But are you okay?” Charlie asked.

“I’m fine,” Nifty grumbled.

“Okay….well, let’s do something else!” Charlie smiled.

Charlie and Nifty spent the day doing things together, and Nifty hated every second of it. Unfortunately for her, Alastor and Angel had been following them the entire time, so she had to pretend to enjoy herself. Although, the little cyclops did try to cause destruction whenever possible.

That night, the three of them were at the luau Vaggie worked at. Charlie and Nifty were at a table while Vaggie’s coworker, Cherri, was dancing on stage with flaming batons. 

Charlie drew a picture of Nifty, and filled it in with a red pencil. “Okay….Nifty? This is you. And this is your badness level. It’s really high for someone so small. We need to fix that,” she explained. 

Vaggie walked over to the table, carrying a stack of dirty dishes. “Hey, Charlie. Everything ok?” she asked.

“Nifty is troubled. She needs desserts!” Charlie smiled. 

“Alright, got it. I’ll be back soon,” Vaggie said, before she walked off to the kitchen. 

Cherri walked past Charlie and Nifty, covered in dark soot. “Cherri! Vaggie and I adopted a little girl!” she exclaimed. 

“Oh, congrats!” Cherri smiled, before she got a better look at Nifty. “She….she’s cute,” she continued.

“She is! Best kid in the world,” Charlie smiled.

Vaggie walked by and placed two slices of chocolate cake on the table. Nifty picked up both the slices and shoved them in her mouth before Charlie could take one. “Hey!” Charlie scolded. 

Nifty spat the pieces back onto the plate, and placed the cherry back on top. “....you can keep them,” Charlie said. 

Cherri looked at Vaggie and waved. “Hey, Vaggie!” she smiled.

“Cherri, did you catch on fire again?” Vaggie asked.

“Nah, just the stage,” Cherri answered. 

“You smell like a lawn mower,” Vaggie said. 

“It can’t be that bad! Can it?” Cherri asked. 

“Yes. It’s that bad,” Vaggie returned. “I’ll talk to you later. The asshole at table four is snorting poi again. See you later,” she said, before walking off. 

Cherri sighed, then looked at Charlie. “The three of us are still down for movie night this week, right?” she asked. 

“Yes!” Charlie smiled.

Nifty was bored at the table, but suddenly, she smelled something. She hopped off her chair and saw a chocolate chip cookie on the ground. The cookie was dragged along on a string, and she followed it to a table. Before she could eat it, Alastor grabbed her by the wrist. 

“Ha! Look what we have here! Angel, get the restraints!” he shouted.

“Gotcha!” Angel nodded. He got out his purse and started looking for them. 

“Hurry up, will you?!” Alastor growled. 

“I got ‘em!” Angel exclaimed, as he pulled out furry handcuffs. “Okay, hold still….” he said, as he went to put them on Nifty.

Before he could do anything, she bit his head. “OH SHIT HOLY FUCK!” Angel screamed. 

Vaggie heard the noise, and immediately ran over. “Nifty! Cut it out!” she shouted, as she pulled her away from Angel. 

“Hey! Vaggie!” shouted her boss. “Isn’t that your kid?”

“Everything’s fine! Don’t worry,” Angel said, as he straightened out his wig.

“Your head looks….uh...swollen,” Vaggie said.

“Oh, don’t you worry about that! She’s just ugly,” Alastor explained.

“‘Scuse me, motherfucker?” Angel asked, before he looked back at Vaggie. “He’s joking. I mean….I ain’t ugly,” he said.

“Sorry, Vaggie, but this isn’t working out,” her boss said. 

“What?!” Vaggie exclaimed. After realizing there was nothing she could do to fix this, she sighed. “Yeah? Well, who wants to work at this...stupid fake luau anyway?” she asked.

Vaggie started walking away, then she turned to Charlie and Nifty. “Let’s go,” she said.

The others followed her, and they walked home in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Really quickly, I just want to say that my friend The_First_Phoenix462 is going to be doing a Hazbin Hotel Quest for Camelot parody! So you guys should go and check that out if you’re interested.


	5. To Have Nothing

Charlie, Nifty, and Vaggie finally made it home, and started walking up the stairs. “Hey Vaggie? Did you...lose your job cause of Nifty?” Charlie asked.

Vaggie sighed. “I really don’t wanna say it Charlie, but yeah. Look I um...I love her. And I know you love her. But she can’t fucking bite people,” she said.

“Yeah, yeah you’re right. Don’t worry, as soon as Nifty is more comfortable with us, I can start exercising discipline, Charlie said.

“You do that, hon,” Vaggie said. 

She opened the door, and Nifty rushed inside, looking around. Charlie followed behind her, a smile on her face. “This is a great home! You’re going to love it here,” she said. 

Nifty grabbed a throw pillow off the couch, and started ripping it apart. “Hey! Cut that out!” Charlie yelled.

“Stop that right now!” Vaggie shouted, as she tried to pull the pillow away. 

“Wait! Be careful with the little angel!” Charlie exclaimed, as Nifty ran off to the kicthen.

“She isn’t an angel, Charlie! Frankly, I’m starting to think she isn’t even human..” Vaggie said, muttering the last part. “Hon...do you think we should take her back?” she asked.

“Vaggie! She was an orphan and we adopted her! What about ohana?” Charlie asked.

“For the record, she hasn’t been here that long,” Vaggie said.

“Doesn’t matter! My mom said ohana means family. Family means-,” Charlie began.

“Nobody gets left behind or forgotten,” Vaggie finished. “Fine, you’re right. I’m probably just...writing her off too quickly or something,” she sighed.

“It’s okay. Look, I’ll go take her to bed, okay?” Charlie asked, as Nifty stepped out of the kitchen. “Come on, sweetie! I’ll show you your room,” she smiled, as she took Nifty upstairs.

Vaggie sighed and headed into the kitchen, then saw the huge mess Nifty made. “Fan fucking tastic,” she muttered.

Charlie took Nifty to what used to be the guest bedroom. It had furniture, but no decorations, since they planned on letting Nifty pick them out herself. Charlie had a doll she made herself and a nightgown she bought lying on the bed. 

“Okay, this is your bedroom, and that’s your doll and nightgown. Now, get into bed,” Charlie said.

Nifty didn’t go to bed. Instead, she ran around the room, making a mess. She only stopped when Charlie placed a lei around her neck. “Okay….I have an idea. Why don’t you try making something?” Charlie asked.

“Hmm….ok!” Nifty nodded.

She grabbed a few blankets and books, then made a model city. “Wow, San Francisco,” Charlie muttered. 

Nifty giggled and began to destroy her city as if she were a giant monster. “Okay, no more late nights for you,” Charlie said, as Nifty kept attacking her miniature city.

Outside, Alastor and Angel had set up camp, and were watching from outside. “Ha, this blonde girl is wasting her time. 929 can’t ignore her destructive mindset,” Alastor said, as he looked through a telescope. 

Angel wasn’t listening. Instead, he put on a short black wig and checked his reflection. At that moment, Alastor turned around. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“Nothing!” Angel shouted, as he took the wig off.

“Oh really? Mind if I try it on?” Alastor smirked. 

“Hell no!” Angel shouted. 

“Share!” Alastor yelled, before he tried to wrestle the wig away from Angel.

“Back off! Ya just jealous cause I’m pretty!” Angel exclaimed.

Alastor managed to get the wig, and he put it on. “Ha!” he smiled.

Angel rolled his eyes, then he noticed a mosquito on his arm. “Oh shit! A mosquito! I heard of these things! They’re super important to the Earth’s ecosystem,” he said, before another two landed on him. “Oh, there’s more!” he exclaimed. 

Several more mosquitos landed on Angel, and he smiled. “Hey! They like me,” he said. 

“They must be the only ones,” Alastor returned.

“And now they’re….they’re…” Angel began, just before the mosquitos started biting him. “OH FUCK!!” he screamed.

Later that night, Nifty was alone in her room. Alastor was still watching from the window and Angel had just bandaged himself up. “Hm, how interesting,” Alastor mused.

“What?” Angel asked.

“929 was created to be a monster, however there isn’t anything for her to destroy. It wasn’t as if I gave her any sort of greater purpose. I wonder...what must it be like to have nothing? Not even memories,” Alastor said. 

Nifty was mindlessly staring at the bookshelf, and she started to take books off of it. She stopped on one, and gazed at the pages curiously. Just then, Charlie knocked on the door before coming in anyway.

“Nifty? I just wanted to check on y-,” Charlie started, before she saw Nifty holding up the book to her. “That’s ‘The Ugly Duckling’,” she said. 

Charlie sat on the bed, Nifty followed her, and Charlie opened the book. “See? He’s sad because he’s all alone and nobody wants him. And on this page, his family hears him crying, and finds him. Then the ugly duckling is happy, because he knows where he belongs,” she explained.

Nifty gazed at the pages a while longer, before putting the book away. “Goodnight, Charlie,” she said.

“Goodnight, Nifty,” Charlie smiled, as she tucked her in. “Hey….wait here,” Charlie said. 

She ran out of the room, and came back with her mother’s old records and record player. “You look like an Elvis fan,” she smiled.


	6. Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride

The next morning, Vaggie woke up and saw Charlie and Nifty standing by the side of the bed, with Charlie holding a record player. “Charlie? What are you…?” Vaggie started.

“Watch,” Charlie said.

She placed Nifty’s finger on the spinning record, then Charlie opened the girl’s mouth. As soon as Nifty’s mouth was opened, music poured out of it. It only stopped when Charlie closed her mouth again. 

Vaggie watched in confusion, before she heard a knock at the door. “Coming!” she shouted.

Vaggie threw open the door, and she saw a man in sunglasses standing on the other side. “Uh...hi there. Can I help you?” she asked. 

“I’m the social worker the adoption agency sent. I’m here to see how your kid is adjusting,” the man replied.

“Oh right! Yeah, they told me you’d be over. I’m Vaggie. What’s your name?” Vaggie asked. 

“Husk. Was it you or your girlfriend that just lost their job?” Husk asked.

Vaggie’s eyes widened. She had no idea people knew about that. “Actually, I just quit that job,” she explained, as Nifty walked over, holding a book. “The hours didn’t really fit with….with the challenges of raising a child,” she continued.

Just then, Nifty threw her book at Husk. “Ah! What the fuck?!” he shouted.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Vaggie exclaimed, as she grabbed Nifty by the wrist. 

“What is that?!” Husk yelled, as Charlie walked over.

“Nifty! Our new little girl!” she smiled, before getting a better look at Husk. “You don’t look like a social worker,” she said. 

“I’m a special classification,” Husk replied.

“Did you…..did you ever kill anyone?” Charlie asked. 

“We’re getting off the subject. Look, I get that the two of you are fresh outta school and wanna start a life together or some shit. But I can’t ignore the fact that one of you is unemployed. Plus your kid can’t go around and fucking attack people! The next time I see that girl, she better be a model citizen, got it?” Husk asked.

“Yes sir,” Vaggie nodded.

“New job. Model citizen. And if we have to send Nifty back to the adoption center to find someone who can raise her better, we will,” Husk stated. “Also, in case you're curious, this didn’t go so great for you two,” he added, before walking away.

“Okay….that could have gone better,” Vaggie said. 

“Oh! You can always teach at the hula school with me. Mimzy would love to hire you,” Charlie replied.

“Hon, you know I can’t dance. Let’s head out. I can ask around for jobs, you can get Nifty to be a model citizen, okay?” Vaggie asked.

“Got it!” Charlie smiled, before the three of them headed out. 

Their first stop was the produce market in town. Vaggie stopped by the owner, Rosie. “Mrs. Rosie? I’m here to answer your newspaper ad,” Vaggie said.

Meanwhile, Charlie put up a picture of Elvis. “Okay, Elvis Presley was a model citizen. Erm….more or less. I made a list of his traits that we can practice. First up, dancing,” she said, as she got a grass skirt from her bag.

“Oh, that’s wonderful news, my dear! I just have a few questions for you,” Rosie replied. 

“Well, fire away,” Vaggie smiled.

Nifty put on the grass skirt, and Charlie smiled. “Now, follow my lead,” she said. She showed Nifty a few dance moves, and soon the two of them were dancing together. 

However, Nifty accidentally knocked over Rosie, and they fell into a cart of fruit. “Actually Vagatha, I’m afraid this wouldn’t work out,” Rosie stated.

Next, Vaggie went to apply at a coffee shop, run by a girl named Loona. “I am all about coffee,” Vaggie said.

Charlie and Nifty were sitting at a table, and Charlie handed Nifty a guitar. “Elvis played guitar. So just try a little something like this,” Charlie said, before she demonstrated a strum. Nifty smiled, then she started to play the guitar.

“I would if I could, Vaggie, but I just hired some asshole, and the tourist season is basically over,” Loona said. 

At that, Nifty’s guitar chords broke all the glass in the shop. “Uhh….thanks anyway!” Vaggie exclaimed, before she, Charlie, and Nifty ran off.

After that, they stopped at a hotel. Vaggie was speaking with Collin, the man at the front desk. “So...I’ve always wanted to be a concierge. Ever since I uh...I was a kid! I would just love to work in this hotel,” Vaggie smiled.

“Well, I have good news for you! We might have something,” Collin replied.

Charlie and Nifty walked by a couch were a woman, Mrs. Mayberry, was sitting alone. “Elvis was the face of romance. And that woman looks like she could use some loving,” Charlie said.

Nifty hopped on the couch beside Mayberry and handed her a rose. “Uh….thanks?” Mayberry said, raising an eyebrow.

“Now hold her hand!” Charlie exclaimed.

“Don’t you fucking touch me!” Mayberry shouted.

Vaggie heard the shouting, and smiled nervously. “Uh….thanks anyway, Collin!” she said, before running off with Charlie and Nifty.

Finally they went to the beach, and Vaggie talked with the lifeguard, Crymini. “I’m fucking desperate,” Vaggie stated.

“You know, I think we have an opening,” Crymini said. 

“You do?!” Vaggie asked, gasping excitedly.

Meanwhile, Nifty was in a little Elvis costume. “Alright, this is it. Time to knock their socks off!” Charlie smiled.

Nifty stepped in front of the crowd on the beach, and Charlie plugged in the amp. Nifty began to play her guitar, as the crowd watched in amazement.

However, soon they all stood around her, taking photos. “Hey! Don’t crowd her!” Charlie yelled.

Nifty snapped and broke a camera. She wound up going completely feral, and breaking even more. The crowd ran away screaming. Vaggie and Crymini stared at the damage, and Crymini stormed off without saying a word. “Fuck…” Vaggie muttered, before sitting down in the sand.

Charlie picked the broken guitar up off the ground, and sat beside Vaggie. “Fuck,” she sighed. 

Nifty looked around at all the damage she had caused, and almost had a feeling of guilt. “Fuck,” she whispered.

Just then, Cherri walked over, carrying two surfboards. “Hey guys!” she smiled, before noticing their expressions. “You guys alright?” she asked.

“We’ve been having a bad day,” Charlie replied.

“Well, I’m no doctor, but I heard that the best cure for a bad day is two surfboards and a few good waves. What do you guys think?” Cherri asked.

“I think that’s a great idea,” Vaggie smiled.

The three of them paddled their boards out, with Nifty sitting on the back of one. She watched the whole scene, curious by the surfing and seeing people just have fun. Vaggie and Cherri covered Charlie in sand, so Nifty decided to try it too. She covered her lap in sand, and placed a leaf on top to act as a flag, only it just wasn’t the same as what the older girls were doing. 

Charlie was sitting on the beach, and Nifty walked over to her, holding a surfboard. “Charlie?” she asked.

“What is it?” Charlie returned.

“Can we…go back out again?” Nifty asked. 

Charlie smiled and ruffled Nifty’s hair. “Of course we can,” she said.

Meanwhile, Angel and Alastor were watching from a tree, and Angel was on the phone. “Eh, can’t complain, Molls. I’m camping out with a fucking psychopath and got my head chewed on by a monster!” Angel shouted. 

“Oh my….this isn’t right. 929 is willingly returning to water,” Alastor muttered.

“Hang on, Molly, I got another call,” Angel said, before hanging up on his sister. “Hey~,” he said.

“Don’t hey me, Angel Dust,” stated Lucifer. “You are overdue. I demand a status report,” he said.

“Oh, everything is going great! Ain’t that right, Al?” Angel asked.

However, Alastor wasn’t listening. “She can’t swim! Why would she risk drowning?” he wondered. 

“I would have expected you back by now, with that little bitch in hand,” Lucifer said. 

“Ya don’t need to worry! Really, we’ll be back any minute. Just gotta….um….” Angel said, before Alastor hung up the spider’s phone. 

“Put this away. You and I are going swimming,” Alastor said.

Nifty, Charlie, and Vaggie were surfing together, and Nifty was beginning to understand how much fun it was. They surfed like that a bit longer, and for once, none of them had a care in the world. 

All of that ended when Alastor grabbed Nifty off the back of the board, without Charlie and Vaggie seeing. However, the movement still knocked the two girls off the board and into the ocean.


	7. Aloha Oe

Charlie and Vaggie swam to the surface, gasping for air. “Charlie, are you ok?” Vaggie asked.

“Yeah. Where’s Nifty?” Charlie asked.

Nifty popped out of the water and started trying to climb onto Charlie. “Hey! Nifty!” Charlie shouted.

“Nifty, get off of her!” Vaggie yelled.

Alastor grabbed a hold of Nifty and dragged her back under the surface, accidentally pulling Charlie along with her. 

“Charlie!” Vaggie shouted, as Cherri swam out to meet them. 

“What happened?!” Cherri asked.

“Nifty dragged her down!” Vaggie answered.

Nifty managed to break away from Alastor, just as Cherri and Vaggie swam down. Vaggie and Cherri grabbed Charlie and Nifty, then began to swim back to the surface. However, Nifty fell away, and Alastor grabbed her by the ankles.

Charlie, Vaggie, and Cherri emerged from the water, and Charlie was frantically looking around. “Oh shit! We lost Nifty!” she exclaimed.

“I’m on it!” Cherri yelled, before diving back under.

Underwater, Alastor was holding Nifty still while Angel tried to restrain her. Nifty bit the two of them and swam away as fast as she could. The cyclops began to feel disoriented, and before she knew it, Cherri was bringing her back up to the surface.

Charlie and Vaggie were on the shore, anxiously waiting for Cherri. “Charlie, you aren’t hurt, are you?” Vaggie asked.

“No,” Charlie answered.

Just then, Cherri ran towards them, with Nifty in her arms. “She’s unconscious! But I think she’s alive,” she said.

Cherri performed CPR, and Nifty began coughing up water. “Oh thank goodness!” Charlie exclaimed.

Charlie turned, and noticed Husk standing on the beach. “Uh oh…” she muttered, before Vaggie saw him too.

“Want me to talk to him, hon?” Vaggie asked.

“No, I can,” replied Charlie.

She walked over to Husk, trying to hide how nervous she was. “I promise, this isn’t what it looks like,” she said.

“Charlie, I know you and Vaggie are trying. But you need to do what’s best for Nifty. You two just might not be ready for a family. I’ll be back tomorrow morning for Nifty. I’m sorry,” Husk said.

He walked off, and Vaggie placed a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder. She had gotten attached to Nifty too, and she didn’t want to see her go. “Um….is there anything I can do?” Cherri asked.

“No. Charlie, Nifty, and I are going home. We….we have a lot to talk about,” Vaggie said. 

She, Charlie, and Nifty walked away, and Cherri watched from the beach. 

That night, Charlie, Vaggie, and Nifty were sitting on the porch. “Nifty...we are so so sorry,” Vaggie said.

Nifty was more upset about this than she thought she would be. Charlie and Vaggie’s house didn’t feel like a place she was simply hiding out at anymore. It was beginning to feel like her home. “It’s okay. Someone….someone will give you a job,” Nifty said, in her best attempt to be comforting.

“Come here,” Charlie said quietly. Nifty walked over to her, and the blonde wrapped her in a hug. 

“Aloha Oe  
Aloha Oe   
E ke onaona noho i ka lipo,” Charlie sang, as Vaggie decided to join in.

“One fond embrace  
a ho’i a’e au   
Until we meet again,” the two finished. 

Nifty really had no idea what to think. She was experiencing feelings she never thought she could before, and had no idea what to make of it.

Later that night, Nifty was in the living room. She noticed a picture on the table. It was a young Charlie next to a blonde woman. Charlie noticed her looking at it, and sighed. “That was my mom. I never met my dad, but I know that she was the most important person in my world. Then one day, it was rainy, and she went for a drive,” Charlie explained, before pausing to wipe her eyes. 

“You don’t have to answer, but what happened to yours? I hear you cry at night. Do you dream about them?” asked Charlie.

Nifty didn’t answer, she couldn’t. She simply looked away. “I know that’s why you wreck things and push me. Our family’s little and we don’t have many things, but you will always be part of it. You could be our baby, and we’d raise you to be good. O’hana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind. And even when you have to leave tomorrow, I’ll remember you. I remember everyone that leaves,” Charlie said. 

That night, Nifty was lying in her bed. She didn’t know what to think about anything anymore. She picked up the Ugly Duckling book and crawled out her window. Nifty sat outside and opened the book. Her eyes landed on the page where the duckling was alone. “Lost. I’m lost,” Nifty whispered.


	8. New Rules

The next morning, Alastor was lying on a rock while Angel was flailing in the ocean.

“I hate the ocean! Oh, shit, a dolphin! Wait, wait, I think they’re friendly. Damnit! Nevermind, it’s a shark, and it ain’t friendly! It looks like a dolphin! Tricky bastard! Oh, an octopus. These are ok, right? AHH! An octopus is worse than a shark! I hate this fucking planet!” Angel screamed.

He crawled onto the rock with Alastor for safety. “This is all that miserable little monster’s fault,” the deer groaned.

Angel heard his hellphone ringing, so he quickly picked up. “Angel Dust,” he said.

“Angel...I’ve lost my patience with the two of you. Have you captured 929 or not?” Lucifer asked.

“Um...well…” Angel stammered.

“Consider yourselves fired and set for execution. Your stupidity is almost laughable,” Lucifer said.

“No! No, sir please!” Angel exclaimed. 

“It’s too late. I’m giving the retrieval job to someone else. Goodbye, Angel Dust,” Lucifer returned, before hanging up.

Alastor heard the entire conversation, and smiled. “That’s brilliant news! We’re fired! Now, we can catch her my way!” he exclaimed, before hurrying off.

“Ya way? Oh shit!” Angel yelled, as he ran after him. 

Nifty had fallen asleep outside, her book in hand. She looked around, and came face to face with Alastor grinning down at her.

“Don’t run, my dear. Don’t make me use my powers on you. You were terribly expensive after all. Just come quietly,” he said.

“I’m waiting,” Nifty replied.

“For what?” Alastor asked.

“My….my family,” Nifty answered.

Alastor chuckled at that. “Dear, you don’t have one. I created you,” he said.

“But...maybe I could….” Nifty began. 

“You were made to destroy. You will never belong. Now, come quietly. We’ll take you apart,” Alastor said.

Nifty didn’t respond, instead she ran away. “Do not run from me!” Alastor shouted.

Meanwhile, Vaggie was staring down at her cup of coffee, and Charlie walked in, with watery eyes. “Charlie! Hon, are you okay?” Vaggie asked.

“Nifty….Nifty left,” Charlie answered.

“Oh shit! Um...she couldn’t have gotten far,” Vaggie said.

“I don’t think Nifty even liked us. I don’t think she ever wanted to be here,” sighed Charlie, as she wiped her eyes. 

“Charlie, don’t say that. We’ll find her,” Vaggie said, in an attempt to reassure her.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Hoping it was Nifty, Vaggie opened it up. However, Cherri was standing on the other side. “Vaggie! I think I found you a job!” she exclaimed.

“Really?” Vaggie asked.

“The surf shop on the beach,” Cherri replied.

“Okay! Hey, while we’re out, can we look for Nifty? She ran off,” Vaggie said.

“Oh shit. You got it. We’ll look for her first,” Cherri nodded.

Vaggie smiled and turned to Charlie. “Charlie, you stay here in case Nifty comes back. Cherri and I are gonna go look for her,” she said.

“Okay. Good luck,” Charlie replied.

“Thanks. We will find her,” Vaggie said, before she and Cherri ran off.

Just as they left, Nifty ran up to the house, dodging Alastor’s shadowy tentacles. “Come back this instant!” he shouted, watching as Nifty ran inside.

Charlie’s eyes widened the second she saw Nifty. “Nifty! You’re home!” she exclaimed.

“Shh!” Nifty said, holding a finger to her lips.

“What is it?” Charlie whispered. 

Alastor walked in, and he spotted the two of them. “Oh! Hiding behind that girl won’t work anymore. Angel and I got fired this morning! There’s new rules, my dear,” he said. 

Nifty pushed Charlie out of the way, and Alastor tossed a knife Nifty’s way. The cyclops dodged it, and rushed to meet Charlie.

“We need to call the cops,” Charlie whispered, however Nifty shook her head.

“I have an idea,” she said.

Soon, Nifty and Charlie were surrounded by tools, and had the doll Charlie made lying on the table. “Pliers,” Nifty said, as Charlie handed her some. “Screwdriver,” Nifty added, making Charlie hand her that too.

“Where’d you learn to do this?” Charlie asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Nifty replied, before she stitched the doll closed.

Alastor was still looking for Nifty. “Come on out, my dear! I only want to talk!” he yelled.

Just then, a skateboard rolled out, with the doll strapped to it. Alastor looked at it curiously, and it exploded, knocking him back. The deer looked up and saw Nifty crawling on the ceiling. 

“Oh come now, dear! I’ll put you back together again! I’ll make you taller and give you two eyes!” Alastor exclaimed.

“I like having one eye!” Nifty returned.

Alastor began tossing plates through the ceiling, in an attempt to hit her. Angel was watching from outside, eyes wide in horror. “We’re so fucked!” he shouted.

“Back off, you dirty, son of a bitch!” Nifty shouted.

“You leave my mother out of this!” Alastor yelled.

The part of the ceiling Nifty had been crawling on finally collapsed. “You are in desperate need of a makeover. I attempted to give you my good looks, but obviously something went wrong,” Alastor said, as he started looking through the rubble for Nifty.

“Cut it out!” shouted Charlie, as she ran over and started hitting Alastor with a broom. 

Alastor was just about to hit her, when Nifty jumped out of the rubble. She picked up the Radio Demon and hurled him through a window. 

“Quick! If we can make it to Cherri’s we’ll be okay!” Charlie exclaimed. She swung open the back door and saw Angel on the other side.

“Hey! Ya alive!” he smiled, before Charlie slammed the door on him. 

“They’re all over the place!” she screamed.

Alastor walked over and tossed a swiss army knife through the door, and Angel narrowly missed it. “You always get in the way!” Alastor shouted, as Angel ran inside. 

“Where’s the human? What did ya do to the girl?!” the spider asked.

In the other room, Charlie called Husk. “Hello! Mr. Husk! Demons are attacking my house,” she said.

“Ahh fuck! No! No demons!” Angel yelled, before rushing over to her. 

Nifty burst through a wall, holding a car. “Punch Buggy!” she exclaimed, before smacking Alastor with it.

“I think they want Nifty!” Charlie added.

“You don’t have to call the fucking cops!” Angel shouted, before he took the phone from her. “Everything’s fine, don’t worry,” he said.

“Charlie, who the hell was that?” Husk asked.

“Oh good, my daughter found the chainsaw,” Charlie said, before hanging up.

“Fuck! Why’d you hang up!?” Husk shouted.

Nifty laughed as she held the chainsaw over her head, but Alastor hit her with a plunger before she could use it. Nifty got knocked to the floor, but she picked up Alastor’s microphone staff. “Ha!” Nifty smiled.

Alastor grabbed a roll of duct tape and covered the eye of the microphone, sealing off its power. “You shouldn’t play with that,” he said.

The microphone began to make strange, distorted noises. “Oh okay!” Nifty nodded, as she handed it to Alastor.

Alastor immediately noticed the sounds it was making. “Dear! I just recalled, it’s your birthday,” Alastor smiled, as he handed it back to Nifty.

“Merry Christmas!” Nifty exclaimed, throwing the staff back. 

“It isn’t Christmas!” Alastor returned, as he tossed it back to her. 

“Happy Hanukkah!” Nifty yelled, as she shoved it back in Alastor’s handa.

As the two of them continued to pass the staff back and forth, Angel grabbed Charlie and hurried out of the house. “We're leaving Nifty?!” Charlie asked.

“She’s gonna be fine, trust me!” Angel returned. 

“ONE potato!” Alastor shouted.

“TWO potato!” Nifty yelled.

“THREE potato!” Alastor yelled.

“FOUR!” Nifty screamed.

“FIVE potato!”

“SIX potato!” 

“SEVEN potato, MORE!” shouted Alastor.

“MY…”

“MOTHER…”

“TOLD…”

“ME…” 

“YOU…” 

“ARE…” 

“IT!” Nifty finished, shoving the staff into Alastor’s hands.

“Damn you to hell!” Alastor shouted.

His microphone staff exploded into red and black smoke, completely destroying the house. Charlie watched from outside, her eyes wide. “No…” she whispered, helplessly watching as her house went up in smoke.


	9. O’hana Means Family

Vaggie and Cherri hadn’t been able to find Nifty, so they were heading back to Vaggie’s. Just then, a firetruck passed them. “Oh fuck...don’t turn left,” Vaggie muttered.

Her eyes widened in horror as the firetruck turned on her street. “Cherri, I’ll call you later!” Vaggie exclaimed, before hurrying home.

Vaggie saw the firefighters, Charlie being questioned by Husk, and Nifty was nowhere in sight. “One of them had four arms, I swear!” Charlie explained. 

“Charlie! Where’s Nifty?” Vaggie asked.

“I don’t...I don’t know,” Charlie sighed, before looking back at Husk. “Please, please, don’t do this,” she said. 

“It’s not up to me,” Husk said.

“Please! I know Nifty can be problematic, but we’re the only ones who understand her! Please! She needs us!” Charlie begged.

Nifty walked over to listen, unseen by the other three. “No, I think you two need her way more than she needs the two of you,” Husk returned. 

Charlie noticed Nifty, and slipped away to see her. “Nifty…” Charlie whispered. 

“Charlie, I need to tell you,” Nifty sighed. 

“What is it?” Charlie asked.

“I’m one of them,” Nifty answered.

“You’re….a demon?” Charlie asked.

Nifty nodded, and she saw the nervous look Charlie had. “But I can explain!” she began.

Before Nifty could say anything, the two of them were trapped in Vox’s net. “Surprise, motherfuckers!” he exclaimed. “Damn, I actually thought you’d be hard to catch,” added Vox. 

He dragged the two of them to a helicopter he had stolen and outfitted for the trip. There were too many people around just to teleport to hell, so he planned on taking Nifty to a more secluded area before going back.

“Charlie? Charlie!” Vaggie called.

She saw Vox pass by, and place Charlie and Nifty in a glass cage on the outside of the chopper. “There! You and your little friend are all ready to go,” Vox grinned.

“Stop! Please!” Vaggie screamed. 

Nifty slipped out of a small opening in the cage, then Vox flew away, with Charlie still in danger.

Vaggie grabbed a branch and ran over to Nifty. “Okay, talk. I know you know about this freaky shit! Now where is Charlie?” she asked.

“Charlie…” Nifty began, before finding herself wrapped in shadowy tentacles. 

“Well, well. It seems that your time is up, my dear,” Alastor grinned, as he and Angel walked over.

“Ya under arrest! Read her rights,” Angel said.

“No, I am not doing that,” Alastor stated.

“Fine, fine, whatever,” Angel sighed, as he took out his hellphone. “Hey, Luci? Experiment 929 is in custody. Ya gonna send those IMP bitches up for us right? Good, we can wait here,” he smiled, before hanging up.

Vaggie started walking over to them, and Angel tapped Alastor on the shoulder. “Don’t talk to her,” the spider whispered.

“Where’s Charlie?” Vaggie asked.

“Who?” Alastor asked, causing Angel to smack his shoulder.

“Charlie. My girlfriend,” Vaggie continued.

“I am awfully sorry, my dear, but we don’t know anyone by that name,” Alastor replied.

“Charlie! A little taller than me! She has long blonde hair and green eyes and hangs out with me or that...girl!” Vaggie shouted, pointing at Nifty.

“Alright, alright, we know her,” Alastor said.

“Bring her back,” Vaggie stated.

“No can do. That’s a misuse of hell’s powers,” Angel returned.

“Look, we’re just here for 929,” Alastor said. He released Nifty from the tentacles, but kept her hands restrained.

“So….Charlie is gone?” Vaggie asked, unable to process it.

“Pretty much. But look on the bright side. Ya single again,” Angel said, with a nervous smile.

At that, Vaggie broke down crying. The first person she ever loved was gone forever. Angel, Alastor, and Nifty stood there in an awkward silence, when Alastor cleared his throat.

“Let’s go,” he said.

The three demons began walking away, and Nifty made her way back over to Vaggie. “O’hana,” she said.

“What?” Vaggie asked.

“929! Leave this girl alone!” Alastor shouted, as he walked over.

“No! No, Nifty, what did you say?” Vaggie asked.

“O’hana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten,” Nifty said. She looked over at Alastor. “Hey! Tasukete!” she exclaimed.

“What?! After all you’ve put me through, you expect me to help you?!” Alastor shouted.

“Yep,” Nifty nodded.

“Alright,” Alastor shrugged. He snapped his fingers to free Nifty’s hands.

“Wait, wait, ya just gonna listen to her?!” Angel asked.

“She can be extremely persuasive,” replied Alastor.

“Persuasive?!” Angel exclaimed. “Alright, what the hell are we doing?” he asked.

“It’s a rescue mission,” Alastor answered.

“We’re going to get Charlie?” Vaggie asked.

“Yeah!” Nifty smiled.

The four of them stole a motorcycle and headed down the road. “This is fucking crazy!” Angel shouted. 

“The best things in life are!” Alastor laughed.

The four of them eventually stopped, and Alastor smiled at them. “Now….does anyone know where we can get an aircraft?” he asked.

Vaggie sighed. She didn’t want to do anything illegal, but she’d have to make an exception for Charlie. “I know an airport,” she said.


	10. The Chase

Charlie was flying through the air, in her glass cage on the back of Vox’s chopper. All she had with her was the photo of her with her mother. She sighed and began to cry softly. 

Just then, she noticed an airplane flying behind them. Charlie smiled the second she saw Nifty in the window. The two girls waved at each other, then the plane flew up beside Vox’s window.

Vox was casually flying and humming to himself, when he noticed Nifty in the plane beside him. “OH FUCK!” he yelled, as the cyclops flipped him off.

The plane went ahead of Vox, but he followed them closely. Vox shot bolts of electricity towards the plane, and Alastor narrowly avoided getting hit.

“So, what exactly is your plan?” Vaggie asked.

“Don’t worry about a thing, my dear! We are professionals,” Alastor smiled. “I’ve never flown one of these contraptions before, but there’s a first time for everything,” he added.

“We’re fucked,” Vaggie muttered.

The two aircrafts chased one another through the Hawaiin mountains. Once they got close enough, Nifty jumped out of the door. She landed on Vox’s helicopter, and hurried to Charlie’s confinement in the back.

“Fuck off!” Vox yelled, before shaking Nifty off the helicopter.

Charlie watched in horror as Nifty fell to the ground. “Nifty!!” she shouted.

Alastor looked through a pair of opera glasses and saw Nifty lying on the road. “She’s unconscious,” he said.

“What do we do now?” Vaggie asked. 

“Hope for a miracle,” Alastor replied.

“Ironic, ain’t it?” Angel quipped.

As Nifty lay motionless on the ground, Vox flew towards her. She began to wake up just as Vox shot a bolt of electricity towards her, and Nifty jumped out of the way. “DAMNIT!” Vox shouted.

The helicopter turned around, and Charlie and Nifty locked eyes. “Be careful, okay?” Charlie asked.

“Okay,” Nifty nodded.

As the helicopter flew out of sight, Nifty started to panic. She had no idea what she was going to do. A truck began to approach, and suddenly, the girl got an idea.

Nifty grabbed a hold of the truck, stopping it. When the driver stepped out to see what was wrong, Nifty punched him in the face and drove off.

In order to get closer to the helicopter, Nifty started speeding the truck through the mountains. She accidentally drove it straight into lava and quickly climbed out, standing on the gas tank. Vox spotted her, and flew over. 

“Bitch,” Vox glarred, as he got closer.

Nifty looked down at the gas tank and smiled up at Vox. “Bastard,” she said, before cutting the tank open. 

Gas poured into the lava, causing an explosion. Nifty was launched into the sky, and she broke through Vox’s window. “Aloha!” she exclaimed. 

“WHY WON’T YOU FUCKING DIE?!” Vox screamed.

“Just lucky, I guess!” Nifty replied.

She grabbed ahold of Vox’s hand and flung him out the window. Vox screamed as he fell, and he landed on the wing of the plane Alastor stole.

As the helicopter started going down, Nifty hurried to Charlie’s glass cage. She broke a hole in the glass, and pulled the blonde out. 

“Nifty! I’m so happy to see you,” Charlie smiled.

“Nobody gets left behind,” Nifty replied, before giving Charlie a quick hug. 

The two of them held onto each other and jumped off the helicopter. They landed on the wing of the plane beside Vox. Vox looked at the two of them in disgust. He would have tried attacking, but he was too scared of falling in the ocean, so he simply held onto the wing of the plane. 

“I fucking hate you both,” he said.

“Aww! You know you love me,” Nifty replied.

Vaggie looked out one of the windows and smiled as soon as she saw them on the wing. “They’re okay!” she exclaimed.

“Great!” Angel smiled.

“I’ll go on and land us!” Alastor yelled, as the plane began to descend.

On the beach, Cherri had been surfing. She took a minute to sit on her board, when the plane soared by, dangerously close. “Holy shit!” she shouted.

The plane landed on the beach, and Charlie hopped off the wing. “Hi, Cherri!” she waved. 

“Uh...hey,” Cherri replied, waving back. “Mind telling me what the fuck is going on?”


	11. Conclusion

Everyone was sitting on the beach, and Cherri finally heard the whole story. “So...you’re from hell, huh? That’s so badass,” she said.

Just then, one of Lucifer’s guards grabbed Nifty. “I got her!” he shouted.

“Good! Let’s get out of here,” Lucifer said, as the guards restrained Nifty.

“Wait, you can’t!” Charlie shouted, while Husk came onto the scene. He didn’t make a move yet though.

“Lucifer! I would have gotten her, your majesty. Just let me explain. It’s kind of a funny story,” Vox said.

“Fuck off! I’m firing you, Vox,” Lucifer stated.

“That’s right! Her capture was all thanks to-,” Angel began, before Lucifer cut him off.

“Me. And if you don’t want me to fire your ass too, you’ll shut up,” the king said.

“Well, I believe I’ll be going!” Alastor said, in an attempt to avoid further conflict.

“You aren’t going anywhere! If you didn’t create 929-,” Lucifer started, before Nifty tapped him.

“Nifty,” she said.

“What?” Lucifer asked.

“My name is Nifty,” she continued.

“...whatever,” Lucifer said, before turning his attention back to Alastor. “If it wasn’t for Nifty-,” he began, before looking back at the little girl.

“Do I have to go to hell?” Nifty asked.

“Yes,” Alastor answered.

“Can I say goodbye?” asked Nifty.

“Um...yes,” Alastor nodded.

“Thank you,” Nifty said, before she walked over to Charlie and Vaggie. The two of them wrapped her in a loving hug, unsure if they’d ever see her again.

“Who are you?” Lucifer asked.

“My name is Nifty, and this is my family. I found it on my own. It’s little, broken, but still good. Yeah,” Nifty smiled. She looked back at Charlie and Vaggie before starting to walk away. 

“Does she really have to go?” Angel asked.

“You know as well as I do about how our laws work,” Lucifer sighed. 

Husk tapped Charlie on the shoulder. “Do you have Nifty’s adoption certificate?” he asked.

“I do!” Charlie gasped. She pulled it out and ran to Lucifer. “Hey! Three days ago, Vaggie and I adopted Nifty. We did the paperwork and everything. She’s ours, and you can’t take her,” she said.

Lucifer looked at the certificate and smiled, then he looked at Husk. “You look familiar. Do I know you?” he asked.

“Sallie House, 1994,” Husk replied. 

“Ah yes! You were sober then. Alright, as of now, 929 has been sentenced to exile here on Earth,” Lucifer said, before he released Nifty from her restraints.

Charlie and Vaggie excitedly hugged Nifty, and the cyclops happily returned the gesture.

“And as the guardians of 929, this couple is under my protection. I may stop in every now and then,” Lucifer continued. 

“I was worried you’d say shit like that. This won’t be fun to explain at headquarters,” Husk said.

“I know the feeling,” Lucifer nodded. 

He headed over to a guard and passed by Alastor and Angel. “Don’t let those two get in the portal,” he whispered.

Moments later, Lucifer and his men went back through the portal. Vaggie turned to Husk. “What happened with you and demons?” she asked.

“Classified CIA shit. So...about your house…” Husk began.

“We’ll take care of it,” Charlie smiled.

Shortly after, everyone worked to restore Charlie and Vaggie’s house. Once it was all settled, Nifty started to really enjoy her life on Earth with her new family. Alastor and Angel wound up moving in, and they slowly became part of the family as well. Nifty believed she was the luckiest person in the world for winding up with such an amazing family, and she wouldn’t trade it for anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that ends another parody! Next is going to be The Mask, Hercules, or Igor (although I don’t know if any of you guys have ever seen that. Let me know if you did though!) alright, I’ll see you guys later!

**Author's Note:**

> HERE WE GO.
> 
> I wanted to do a Disney movie, this one seemed like a good idea. Let me know if you guys have any other ideas! I always love to hear them! 
> 
> Next up, I may do Austin Powers, but idk how many people have seen that lol


End file.
